Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Coming into Her Own

video by carine23

It's strange how things sometimes conspire to remind me of certain life lessons that I still need learning - all within the same week.

It all began with this blog entry by my blog buddy and romance guru, Evil Woobie.

Having written about singlehood on and off over the past few months - mainly because it's one of the circumstances that tilted the scales towards taking this particular life adventure I am currently on - I couldn't resist posting a comment to her post in reply.

it’s a cliche that everything happens for a reason, but i believe it - and that all the events in my life so far have led me to where i am today… a happy place to be. :)

i am so happy i had the chance to do this on-my-own thing and discover that i can be this person - strong, independent, and ready to take on anything. achievements aside, looks aside, and relationship-status aside, i know i’ll always have that under my belt and it is an accomplishment i will always be proud of. :)

I don't think that I've sounded as well-adjusted as that in a long time. (My long-time friends might even attest that I've probably NEVER sounded that well-adjusted, as I have always lived with the cloud of my myriad neuroses hanging over my head.)

But while I am certainly in a good place at the moment, there are days when it doesn't take a lot to propel me outside my happy place. It's probably because I've been so used to being so down on myself for so long that actually feeling good about me takes a lot of getting used to. And sometimes I have to fight quite hard to keep the negative voices from drowning out my inner cheerleader in training. Specially when the snarky comments come from important people in my life who sometimes say things that chip away at me simply because they don't know any better.

In keeping with my current lesson plan, I had such a moment just a few days after my enlightened comment on Woobie's blog.

For a fleeting moment, I felt like I was tumbling into the same old self-destructive pattern I've gotten used to for years - defensiveness and defiance. But, in a surprising victory for my inner cheerleader, I suddenly realized that what these people said didn't matter.

Because, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel dang good about me.

I'm brave. I'm strong. Life stretches out before me that's still filled with all sorts of possibility. And I kick ass.

And no one can ever take that feeling away from me but me.

Lots of people grow up knowing this simple truth - but what can I say? I'm a very slow learner.

It's high time I let my inner cheerleader come into her own - and give her room to dance.

* * * *

Post Script: This song is currently on tops on my "Girl Power" list at the moment. I love it because it has such a positive and powerful message. And it's also very true. I was looking for the original music video to embed on this post, but I think this slideshow I found on YouTube pretty much does the trick.

Don’t Need You To (Tell Me I’m Pretty)
Samantha Mumba

I don't need you to
Tell me I'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
I don't need you to
give me your strength
To make me feel I'm strong

I got all of this strength that I need
here inside my own two hands
All that I want is your love and respect for who I am
What I really need comes from deep inside of me

Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty to make me feel beautiful, no
Don't need you to make me strong, cause I’m strong all on my own
Doesn't come from outside
This beauty I know
Comes from inside my soul

I don't need you to
believe in me to make me know I'm worth believing in
I don't need you to
lift me up high to know I can stand tall

I can stand my own ground, I can stand proud upon my own two feet
Don't have to be part of somebody else to be complete
What I really need
Comes from deep inside of me

Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty to make me feel beautiful, no
Don't need you to make me strong, cause I’m strong all on my own
Doesn't come from outside
This beauty I know
Comes from inside my soul

Don't need to come to you for confirmation
Because I finally found this revelation
What I really need I’m gonna find inside of me
Not in somebody else
Respect, comes when you respect yourself

Don't need you to tell me I’m pretty
To know I’m beautiful


Manggy said...

YES! You do kick ass! And you are beautiful, no matter what they say, and words can't bring you down. (But you didn't need me to tell you that, did you? ;) Hmm, ewan ko ba, that's what I've been telling you all along! :P (hah, will you listen to me? I certainly don't myself!)

Ann said...


It took me years before I let my inner cheerleader win too.

I'm adding the song to my empowering songs playlist.

PS. You def are kickass. :D

Walking on Water said...

yeah, unleash thy inner hotness claire! just look 'em in the eye and knock 'em dead.
let's go break some hearts mother. hehe. exciting!

Abaniko said...

Three cheerful bangs on the table for you! Salute! :)

Woobie said...

Hey Claire!
You were one of my inspirations for that post sis... as well as some other friends who needed some shaking up.

At the end of the day, it's really about what your inner cheerleader thinks, and the opinions of others, especially those who don't care about your feelings, won't matter much.

Sometimes, you know, other people put us down because THEY have issues. I've learned a lot about passing blame, and now I don't mind if some people around me take their stress out on me. Putting me down is their way of relieving THEIR stress, and because I have found my whole-ness, I don't mind. And, frankly, I don't feel the need to be defensive, because I know better now.

Thanks so much for the appreciation, claire. And, I love that you kick ass!



dr_clairebear said...

@everyone: thanks, thanks, thanks! my cheerleader is doing cartwheels at the moment. :))

@woobie: you know, you have a point. i guess it just takes time and a degree of maturity to try to shed the baggage that comes from other people's baggage. (hey, what do you know, i'm finally coming into adulthood!)

i haven't shed mine, but i am learning to put them away more often than not instead of toting them around with me wherever i go. life has been considerably happier and more positive then.

now if only i can translate my inner cheerleader's body jam athletic abilities into real life, i'll be over the moon! hahaha!