100 Truths About Me

I know I shouldn't indulge my emotional exhibitionism more than I already am, but these tags are just so hard to resist sometimes!

Marj, knowing my Achilles' Heel and guilty pleasure, has sent me a king-sized one to romp around on.

001. Name → Mariclaire (no, it's NOT Marie Claire, it's not Mary Claire - I have yet to see someone with a spelling like mine. It's good in theory to have a uniquely spelled name, but you won't believe the troubles I run into when I'm applying for official stuff. News Bulletin, folks, I've been in school for more than half my life... I know how to spell my own name!)

002. Nickname(s)→ Claire, Clairebear, Cleng (don't start!)

004. Zodiac sign → I am a textbook Taurus

005. Male or female → Guess. :P

006. Elementary, 007. Middle School, 008. High School → Poveda Learning Centre

009. College School - University of the Philippines Diliman for pre-med... then UP Manila for medical school and residency (12 years in the UP system, my gyud!)

010. Hair color → Dark brown

011. Long or short → super long now. I can't wait to get home and get a styled cut!

012. Loud or Quiet → Loud. Sometimes my friends wish I have a volume-control knob. It comes from being a part of a loud and argumentative family.

013. Jumpers or Jeans → Jeans! (Will anyone really answer otherwise?)

014. Phone or Camera → depends where I am, what I'm doing, and what my mood is. :)

015. Health freak → I try! But I can't shake the poor eating habits...

016. Drink or Smoke? → smoke, never. drink, when the occasion arises, I drink a fair bit.

017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Are we talking celebrity crush or real-life crush? I *heart* Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles) from Supernatural. As for a real life crush, my life is totally devoid of regularly seen eye candy at this time...

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → The only ones, actually. Both earlobes, as soon as I was born. And I have no plans of getting any more, thank you very much.

024. First best friend → Angel, our next door neighbor. We've lost touch, though. :(


025. First award → good question. I cannot for the life of me remember! :)

026. First crush → I started fairly late, celebrity crushes or otherwise! I remember finding Charlie Sheen really cute a long, looooong time ago - when I was 11, I think.

027. First pet → we've always had dogs at home. Lady, our German Shepherd, was probably the earliest one I could remember.

028. First big vacation → Melbourne, Australia, 1982.

030. First big birthday → My 18th birthday (come out party), complete with the princess gown and the cotillion de honor. If only I didn't let myself be steamrolled into picking lilac as theme - I wanted blue! But it turned out nice anyway. The most fun I've had in a party without any alcohol! ;P

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → leftover vegetarian pizza for breakfast(i know, i know - why did i bother, right?)

050. Drinking → a can of Coke Zero - my caffeine shot for the morning

052. I'm about to → take a shower and prepare for work (bummer!)

053. Listening to → the sound of that strong wind howling outside

054. Plans for today → Work, do a light work out at the gym on the elliptical machine and lift some weights, have an early night because I'm working Saturday, too.

055. Waiting for → my housemate to get out of the shower so I can use it.

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → I think so. Though raising one seems like a terrifying idea.

059. Want to get married? → I think so. Not quite yet, though. Not just because I haven't found the right person (which is a pretty valid reason!), but because I've just learned to really enjoy being single. I'm just going with the flow in regards to this issue these days...

060. Careers in mind → Already a doctor and internist... but as to where I want to practice? still all the way up in the air.

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
**Hypothetically...

068. Lips or eyes → Eyes. I like the deep dark eyes of my Asian origins, but if I go Caucasian, I am very partial to blue.

070. Shorter or taller - Taller than me. That won't be so hard!

072. Romantic or spontaneous → A bit of both, I think. But if i had to pick one, spontaneous. I don't think pathologic planners would appreciate my flights of randomness...

073. Nice stomach or nice arms → It doesn't really matter much, really. :P

074. Sensitive or loud → A sense of humor that I get!

075. Hook-up or relationship → I don't think I am capable of a casual hook-up. I tend to get attached!

076. Trouble maker or hesitant → a bit of a trouble maker, but not a too-serious one. I sometimes need a bit of a push to try to new things outside my comfort zone!

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Don't wear either.

081. Ran away from home → Never. No enough of a rebel, I'm afraid!

082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → Our nanny once gave my sister and I a knife each when we wouldn't stop fighting and told us to kill each other. It was a pretty effective way of getting us both to stop.

083. Killed somebody → When you're starting out as a doctor, there's always a part of you that blames yourself for everything that goes wrong.

084. Broke someone's heart → Probably not.

085. Been arrested → Never. I have managed to wheedle my way out of traffic violations here and there, though.

087. Cried when someone died → Always.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → On occasion. Most of the time, I always think the worst.

090. Miracles → Yes. Some things feel too much like "gift" to be coincidence.

091. Love at first sight → No, I think it's just a Hollywood ploy. How can you love someone you don't know? How can you know someone you've just met?

092. Heaven → Yes

093. Santa Claus → until I was 7 and I caught my parents out.

094. Tooth Fairy → Never. I missed out on that particular money making scheme!

095. Kiss on the first date - I don't know... probably not. Conservative! ;P Then again...


I ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → I can give you a whole list... not hard to do when you live so far from home.

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → At the moment, yes! But I'm beginning to feel a familiar restlessness coming on...

099. Do you believe in God → Yes

What happened to number 100? Oh, I'm supposed to tag people. Anyone who wants to grab the tag can grab it... come on, you know you want to!

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Uh Oh

Look what came in the mail today.

I can't believe I've actually signed up for my first ever organized run. And, what's more, committed to doing a distance I've never even managed to do to date - 10 kilometers. I haven't even been running that regularly or properly these days! Just doing 5k has been an absolute struggle. What if I come in dead last in a field of 1000 plus?

Maybe I've bitten off more than I could chew. Maybe I should chuck the number in the bin and just forget about the whole thing.

On the other hand, who the heck will care if I come in dead last? Even then, it's already pretty amazing if I finish it at all whether at a walk or a run - considering where I was (both in my life and fitness-wise) exactly this time last year.

Backing out would be an insult to the person I've grown up to be this past year. And wasn't it just last year, when I was preparing to come over, that I also felt like I'd bitten off more than I could chew?

So, yeah, I guess I am going to be keeping my number - and pinning it to my singlet next Sunday when I do the run. I may be the slowest one there that day, but by hook or by crook, I am going to make it across that finish line... just to prove to myself that I actually can.

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Regression

I recently realized that one of the main reasons I love doing Body Balance and yoga so much is because I get to spend so much time upside down. And part of what makes it so much fun is getting to bend and twist myself into the oddest poses that would normally be socially unacceptable for any self-respecting adult to do in public.

It's as good as being a kid all over again.

Don't get me wrong I was never one of those kids who did cartwheels and other gymnastic feats with ease - things that must be taught when you're still young enough to know no fear. Even then, the only place I could do a handstand would be in a swimming pool. And I could never flip myself upside down and back on the monkey bars to save my life.

But I always used to enjoy folding over and touching my toes, let my head hang straight down between my legs, and look at the world from a completely different perspective. I also used to like raising both legs straight up or cross-legged against a wall while lying on my back and pretending I was sitting on the wall sideways. And I always liked lying on the floor and scissoring my legs into the oddest angles, toes pointed like some demented ballerina's.

All of the above I get to do in class - and more! No wonder I find it so much fun.

Serious practitioners may find what I am saying a little irreverent - maybe even sacreligious. Don't get me wrong - the poses are hard work and more difficult than they seem. But being given the license to basically be a carefree child again, even for an hour a few times a week, is part of why it's such a stress-release for me, too.

I suppose the longer I do it, the more serious I'll be and stop doing yoga to relive the joy of being a hyperactive kid. But, knowing me? I seriously doubt that will ever happen.

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New Year Blues

I've been a bit uninspired blogging-wise over the past few days... I think the grime of having worked through the Christmas holidays is still upon me and has just been a bit tough to wash off, even after a few visits to my favorite recovery room.

I've been thinking of drastic solutions to this funk I'm currently in. I was planning on taking a solo trip out of town to fill up a 3 day weekend I have coming up at the end of the month, but my plans are all up in the air at the moment due to accommodation and transportation issues.

It would be nice to fly off somewhere - but the air fare will cost me at least half the cost of a new dSLR or a whole 120G iPod... not quite worth it for just a 3 day weekend. I thought of going to Rottnest Island, off the Perth coast, by ferry - but it's high season, so there's no room to be had. I'm currently looking at the possibility of going to a couple of resort towns down south by bus, but it might not be a great idea since it will be hard to get to the scenic spots around them without my own car. And I'm not quite ready to drive that far and that fast by myself.

Retail therapy sounds like a nice second-line remedy, but I've been getting myself some post-Christmas bargains by way of jeans and bathing suits - and it's only been a temporary fix. Maybe it's time for me to buy a new toy - not that I can really afford it right now with my car rego and my visa renewal costs coming up but desperate times and all that.

It's a toss up between a dSLR (I'm thinking a Nikon D60 with a VR twin kit) which is more expensive and a risk as I don't know how serious I am about photography; or a new iPod (120G) which is cheaper and will definitely more utilized but my trusty old iPod is still holding on and still working quite well.

I'm trying to clamp down on my miserly side and just jump into a purchase and enjoy the fruits of my holiday labors, but, as all my good friends will attest, I am one of the most indecisive people to go shopping with. I will chew a choice to death until the bargain eventually gets away from me. Most of my major purchases have been made under the impetus of both necessity and some serious prodding by whoever I was shopping with at the time. If I were by myself, I'd spend weeks just looking and looking and LOOKING and eventually end up not buying anything.

So, what do you guys think? Should I go for it, or just save my money? Will a new toy manage to cure my new year blues? The solo holiday is still on the table, but a new toy to stand in as a date may not be a very bad idea...

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Somebody Stop Me!

photo by james m

I think it's pretty obvious by now - I'm a chockful of bad habits and addictions. Ranging from the trivial (i.e. nail biting and a love of diet soft drinks) to the life-altering (i.e. negative thinking and frequent self-flagellation), I am often conquered by these compulsions more often than I care to admit. And since I got my car, I'm coming to realize that I'm on my way to developing yet another one - as if I didn't have enough of them.

It's giving into the siren song of the fast food drive thru.

Yes, despite my resolve to turn over a new leaf and eat healthy to complement my new sporty lifestyle, my new wheels have made it even easier to indulge in my craving for the quick, tasty, and greasy joy of eating fast food. I don't even want to count the number of times I've driven the five minutes down the road for a burger from McDonald's (which is open 24 hours, much to my conscience's dismay), hot-and-spicy chicken from KFC, or a chicken roll from Red Rooster.

My absolute lack of emotional quotient is appalling. What can I say? When I'm diving into hot food that I didn't have to cook myself, I temporarily lose my sanity. But it's hard to resist the call of a Big Mac at the end of a long, harrowing evening call when I can safely drive to the store in my car, pick up a burger, and be home just ten minutes than I planned to be.


Okay, okay - the yogurt and fruit for dinner daily was definitely much more positive than habitually committing this cardinal sin against healthy living. I'm going to have to double - even triple - my time at the gym just to make up for my lack of willpower... and we all know how realistic that really is!

The reason I'm writing about this here is just so people know about my budding addiction and hold me accountable. After having had a McDonald's burger two nights in a row via the Drive Thru (curse the 24 hour service - shouldn't everything be closed in Perth by 5pm?), I am willing to admit I have a problem.

Is there such a thing a Fast Food Addicts Anonymous? Sign me up, quick!

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Sun Worship

In a country where the vast majority of the population lives on the coast, the birth of a beach culture is inevitable. And in my city on the water, where beautiful beaches beckon a stone's throw away from the urban jungle, there's no better way to spend a fine spring day just hinting of the summer to come.

It's hard not to get sucked into the outdoorsy lifestyle of Perth. Apart from the fact that the odd commercial hours make it nearly impossible to hide in a shopping mall the whole day, the lure of the wide open spaces is pretty hard to resist. And with the advent of the warm weather, outside is the place to be.

I was vividly reminded of this when I gave into the impulse to visit one of the more popular beaches on the first warm weekend of the season. My once-almost-deserted recovery room was crawling with people, winter-pale and eager to start on their summer tan. It was probably the most number of people I've ever seen in one place since I got here. Peaceful giving way to festive, quiet filled by the raucous noises of beach lovers happy to see the last of winter.

I never used to pay much attention to the weather reports at home except when it was to hope on a storm signal high enough to get classes canceled (so you can imagine that this was eons ago!). These days I find myself tuning in to the news just to see what the weather is going to be like - specially if it's going to be on a day off - so I can make plans for it. To go for a run along the river. To spend time just chilling and people watching on my favorite beach. Basically, just to be out.

If the forecast says a fine sunny day, don't bother looking for me at home. Chances are, I'll be somewhere outside, happy on my own little spot of sand or grass, worshiping the sun.

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Confessions of an Unreformed Sweet Tooth

diagnosis: one of the best cheesecakes i have eaten. ever.
cheesecake shop's mississippi cheesecake.

Of course I knew I had low-fat yogurt in the fridge at home - I just bought them yesterday. Vanilla, cheesecake, and apple pie flavored yogurt, 8 tubs in all, each just 73 calories.

But there are just days when you can't settle for anything but the real deal.

Which was why I found myself at the nearest service station at 730pm (after getting there on foot, mind you), rummaging through the freezers and looking for the lowest calorie ice cream treat I could find. Did you know that most ice cream bars are AT LEAST a 180 calories? Frankly, I really never wanted to know - but, unfortunately, due to my diligent label checking, I now know.

Luckily, I did find something that suited - a small cup of classic vanilla ice cream, just 110 calories for a small sojourn in sweet tooth heaven. Just in time, too, because the people at the cash register were beginning to give me strange looks after seeing me hovering over all three of their freezers for almost 15 minutes before settling for my treat and paying for it.

What can I say? The spirit is willing, etcetera, etcetera. And when you live in the land of Cadbury chocolate and Tim Tam, it can be quite challenging for any forsworn sweet tooth to to stay on the side of low glycemic index eating.

As part of my personal health reform agenda, which I've embarked upon to avert certain disaster - specifically a date with probable early onset diabetes - I've been trying to wean myself away from unhealthy sweets and going for the more healthy substitutes. Which translates to stocking muesli bars for chocolate bars, fruits for lollies, and, yes, yogurt for ice cream.

While that has managed to work for me somewhat, it's hard not to give in to temptation every now and then. Not having the object of my addiction on hand may prevent me from indulging regularly, but when I'm craving for the real thing, going out of my way to get my fix is not going to be a problem.

I'm trying to practice the value of moderation in this particular area in my life - and buying into the joys of muesli, fruit, and yogurt more often when a craving hits. But I still allow myself one mini-sized chocolate bar every now and then, as well as real ice cream (gelato!) when I want a treat. And no matter what anyone says - I am never, ever going to be able to turn down a slice of cheesecake. Ever.

I am, and always will be, a sweet tooth. I consider it both a blessing and curse, but it will always be a fact of my life. Curse, because it can be so hard to resist indulging in my favorite things in the world and damning the health consequences. Blessing because it doesn't take a lot to make me happy - just a great dessert has the power to make my day.

And, really, in this complicated world of ours where there are just so many things that can get you down, don't you agree that it's sort of great to be able to experience joy from a simple sugar rush? Click here to read the rest of this post.

Pushing Beyond Creaky Knees

photo credit: unknown - if it was you, let me know :)

I've finally decided on my new outdoor sport for my first spring-summer season in Perth - running.

Okay, it's not a water sport. But it's fairly simple, no-frills, and it doesn't require the kinesthetic prowess of an Olympic athlete, just lots of discipline and persistence - things I sorely need to develop anyway. Plus, it complements my insatiable wanderlust and is a great way of burning calories and getting fit while going places.

So a couple of weeks ago, I bought my first pair of good running shoes as a part of my commitment to my initial goal of working up to a thirty minute run. Overwhelmed by enthusiasm and the novel experience of being able to even jog without experiencing excruciating shin pain - something that has always turned me off running in the past - I was literally up and running.

I've started with the Couch to 5K running program, an 8 week training program that builds you up gradually to doing solid 30 minute runs from being totally sedentary. I started on Week 3 using the health club treadmill, and I haven't looked back since. I'm currently on Week 5 Day 3, going on Week 6 - which means I've actually worked my way up to a solid 20 minute run with minimal walking breaks. All of this has been treadmill work because I haven't had time to research outdoor running routes and my current schedule doesn't allow me to do a lot of wandering at the moment, but once my schedule opens up, expect me to be out all the time.

On the downside of things, beginning such a high-impact sport has made my body go into serious protest. My knees, in particular, are on strike and officially hate me.

I now know what morning stiffness feels like. I can almost hear my knees screaming every time I stand up after sitting for so long. My ankles squeak occasionally in accompaniment. My shins organize episodic protests but not quite as frequently.

Okay, okay, I admit I've been a bit of a dunce and, due to my gym addiction problems, haven't really been taking enough recovery days in between increasing my running time. But I have been a good girl about the stretching post-runs and continuing my strength training. The moans-and-groans of my muscles could probably be just a normal reaction to finally being used after happily hibernating for so long.

My friends tell me I just have to be careful that I'm not overdoing things - which means taking more time to recover from my workouts, running or otherwise. (Which is why I am blogging instead of slaving away at the gym right now.) Going for recovery days is actually a challenge in itself, because just the thought, "Hey, I can do this!" actually spurs me on that much further, creaky joints be damned.

The experience has been awesome, and a fitting counterpoint to what this year and this move has been all about.

I can't wait for the day when I'm finally doing my thing along the Swan River foreshore or the Sunset Coast jogging path, wind cool against my face, water on one side, and open road as far as the eye can see.
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Discovering "A Fine Frenzy"

I haven't been able to sate my music addiction for quite a while, even if my battered iPod (which I must replace before it completely falls apart) has been my constant sanity-saving companion through this journey so far. But my need for new work-out music (yes, I have gotten off my lazy bum and started exercising again - more on that later) and a reason to procrastinate from studying (can you blame me? I've been studying for something or other for more than half my life) led me to this delightful new sound to add to my ecclectic playlist.

Knowing my fondness for indie/singer-songwriter artists, Jean - travel companion and fellow music addict - first introduced me to A Fine Frenzy while I was marooned in Amanpulo and told me their single "Almost Lover" would be perfect for my beach soundtrack. The song was injected with just the right amount of angst and wistfulness to accompany a solitary sunset with no one but the sea for company - and I loved it.

On the basis of that one song, I've managed to hunt down the rest of the tracks off their album, "One Cell in the Sea," and with the exception of a couple which I chucked out, I have loved most of them. Lead singer, Alison Sudol, has a haunting voice that just grabs at you, and the artful arrangements of piano and guitar provide a great foil for it.

But one of the things I like most about her music is the honest and heartfelt storytelling that comes in every song. I'm a sucker for "I can so relate to that!" lyrics - which means that, on occasion, my playlist does descend into pure sentimental pap. I'm a sap - so sue me!

My current favorite track from this really great album is "Whisper." Aside from the catchy melody and great guitar, it kind of tells the story of my present life in less than five minutes. Other gems for me are "Near to You," and "Ashes and Wine."

I never claimed to be an expert in music, just someone who loves it - so maybe you should take my review with a grain of salt. But if you have time to spare and are looking for a new artist to add to your personal soundtrack, you really should give the music of "A Fine Frenzy" a try.

Whisper

Running the race
Like a mouse in a cage
Getting nowhere but I'm trying
Forging ahead
But I'm stuck in the bed
That I made so I'm lying

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me still

Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still

The sound tires on my lips
To fade away into forgetting

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still

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Water

the vivid colors of the indian ocean

It's not always easy being essentially alone in a city full of strangers. Being away from your usual support group makes it necessary for you to find ways to cope with the stresses that shake your world and the sporadic loneliness that comes with knowing that you are very much on your own. Some people get their fix from some retail therapy, others from comfort food. Some escape reality by watching a movie or indulging in a good book for a few hours.

Since I've been here, I've done a little bit of all of the above. But when things go really, really wrong and my mood can't get any lower, what else can a forsworn beach addict like me do but seek the water?

I've always loved the water. There is something about it that has always drawn me. Just being near the water is, for me, a major pick me up. There are some pseudo-scientific theories that say that this may have something to do with negative ions generated by the water splashing on the ground - who knows how true that is? Bottom-line is that I simply love the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the brisk breeze coming over the water, the horizon that stretches out to forever and hints of possibility.

swan river foreshore in burswood park

One major upside of being in Perth is that it is so easy for me to tap into this unconventional, life-giving idiosyncrasy even if I don't actually live in a suburb anywhere close to the water.

I can hop on a train and be on the Swan River foreshore in a matter of minutes. In a little over an hour by public transport, I can be on any point of the magnificent Sunset Coast, a pristine, raw-sugar sand beach that stretches for miles and miles in either direction as far as the eye can see.

the sunset coast towards south to freo as seen from scarborough beach

When I am by the water, for that space of time, life's complications fall away. Loneliness gives way to a peaceful kind of solitude. It's hard to stay stirred up in the face of something so much larger than myself, ever-constant and ever-changing at the same time. After watching the rhythm of life played out on the water for endless hours, my beauty-loving soul is recharged - and the life in this city of strangers is just that more bearable.

Fate couldn't have chosen a better place for me to be while I am adjusting to life away from home than this beautiful Australian coastal city on the water.

(all photos are taken by me using a Lumix point-and-shoot camera.)
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Spring Promises

The mornings and nights are bloody cold, but numb toes are a small price to pay for the fine, sunny days and clear cloudless blue skies. Mild mid-day temperatures and a brisk fresh breeze accompanies winter as she gracefully exits stage left and gives the center stage to spring. The Western Australian landscape - which keeps its green through the cold winter - celebrates the coming of a new season by putting on a show of colors.

And I, addict of all things beautiful, am enjoying having a front row seat to the spectacle. It's hard to feel morose when the weather is warming up and the outdoors beckon.

Weekend wanderlust trumps need the to study any day, and, in true Perthite fashion, I decided to spend the day outside in the sun. In a city like Perth, you can never run out of parks to picnic in - but I couldn't resist the lure of King's Park just coming alive in the spring.

It was definitely worth the return visit. The wildflowers are just coming into bloom and the park is awash with color. King's Park is such a sprawl of space that begs you to just pick a spot for the day and dream.





With my bag of sushi take-away, I picked a shady area under one of the tuart trees and settled in. And wondered what the hell all the other picnicking locals were thinking when they picked a spot to picnic directly under the sun. I found out all too soon the answer to that particular question - despite the deceptively sunny weather, the wind in the park blew pretty damn cold.

It's hard to believe that a dyed-in-the-wool city girl like myself I would actually enjoy just sitting around on the grass with a book in hand and be content just watching the world go by. But I loved every minute of it. Who needs the mall when you could have all this beauty and atmosphere at your disposal for free?

Yes, I am definitely falling in love with spring - and Perth with it.

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Not Cooking for One

Adobo on rice *sigh*

This photo by River Rats

One of the things I miss the most from back home? Hot, homecooked meals.

I may be living in a house with a kitchen, but it just takes too much energy to cook for one.

I have done my best over the past few weeks not to fall into the trap of eating too much "take away" (a.k.a. "take out" back home) - which is both horrendously unhealthy, not to mention expensive. I've mostly succeeded, but gastronomic options become quite limited when you don't want to be bothered with cooking.

Don't get me wrong, I can cook. I actually even enjoy it under different circumstances. But the idea of having to take out the pots and pans, prepare all the ingredients, then putting everything away and washing up after - it's just too much effort to make for a meal just for one person. Whereas when you nuke a frozen meal (invariably a meat pie or a box of Lean Cuisine) in the microwave or prepare a sandwich, you only need to wash one plate after. Peeling an orange or biting into an apple means you don't even have to wash anything at all... a good thing when you're dead on your feet from work and walking the three or so kilometers home.

As for a full, hot breakfast? Out of the question. I barely have time to eat my cereal in the mornings as it is! When I get out really late, I have breakfast on the go - walking to work while munching on an apple.

Maybe when I've saved enough money and settled into the rhythm of things, I may get one of those electric skillets on which I can do a little bit of grilling (would you believe I've been here a month and not have had a bite of steak?) and a stir-fry every now and then.

I will only consider whipping out my culinary skills only if I'm going to be making food good for more than one portion. In the meantime, I'm sticking to bread, fruit, cereals, and frozen food. And if I get the urge to eat rice - there's always Indian or Chinese take away, which I indulge in once a week.

Can anyone here think of other alternatives? I'd love to hear them.

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Must Love Dogs

is it possible for anyone to resist this funny face? (our family pug, Sage)

A person can fall under any of the following categories: dog people, cat people, other-kind-of-pets people, and get-those-animals-away-from-me people. I make no secret of the fact that I am and will always be a dog person.

Dogs are funny, amusing, and great companions. But it's their uncomplicated love and adoration of their "pack" that is a definite draw for true blue doggy lovers - and something that cat-people hold against them.

While there have always been dogs in our household for as long as I can remember, I really want to have my own dog. Not a family dog, but MY own dog. Unfortunately, given the uncertainty of my circumstances, it would be crazy to even consider raising a puppy now. But I've already gotten as far as coming up with the breeds I'm considering when I do get one - someday.

The breeds on my dream-puppy list, all things being ideal, are:



Chow chow - It's like having your own live big, cuddly teddy bear. Intelligent and independent, they won't mind being left at home very much and can adapt to apartment living. The drawback? A chow would require major grooming - and shedding hair would mean I might end up living in a giant hairball instead of an apartment. And they're notoriously hard to obedience-train.


Golden retriever - It is among the most popular breeds today. And why shouldn't it be? Highly intelligent, loyal, friendly, sweet, and gentle for their size. And so very pretty. This breed requires serious grooming, though - and lots of exercise. (Hello, me and lots of exercise? Does not compute!)



Boston Terrier - they look like miniature boxers, they're highly intelligent and easy to train - and they'll take well to apartment life. What more can a yuppie doctor ask for?





Any other suggestions for my dream-puppy list? Since I'm not going to be following through on this particular wish of mine for a long time, I'm still open to any and all recommendations.

In the meantime, I get my dog fix from our two family dogs. One is a stately old Boxer lady, who turned ten a few months ago (that's 70 in dog years, in case you didn't know), and the other is a incorrigible clown of a pug, who is about two years old. I am also silly in love with both of them, and would also most definitely consider these breeds when it's my turn to get my own puppy.

But most definitely, if I were ever to write a personals ad, one of my desired qualifications would be, "Must love dogs." Then again, as they say, you may never find the perfect man or woman, but you can always find the perfect dog... so I think I'm going to stick to chasing my elusive puppy dream for now!

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Post-script: Here's another option for people who are looking for pets. I recently stumbled upon the site Me Find Home - and it's all about adopting pets from the PAWS animal shelter in Katipunan Avenue. They have around 30 adoptable dogs and 100+ cats, all rescued and neutered/spayed and dewormed, who are just waiting for someone to take them home. I'd consider getting one if I could, but we have our hands full already with the two dogs we have at home.

But if you're in a market for a dog or cat right now, you just might find your perfect canine or feline companion here. Spread the word to your other friends who might be looking for pets. These animals need good forever homes. You can check out details on how to adopt and how to get there on their website.

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Where to Next?

Me and Ate Fe at Davao International Airport, August '07

I've always had the heart of a kaladkarin (from the same Tagalog verb which means "to drag; to haul along"). I've never made a secret of the joy I get from going to new places and just drinking everything in, no matter the destination. Whether it's a trip to the glitzy and cosmopolitan or the rustic and back-to-basics, if I'm free, I'm in.

Summers have always triggered a serious attack of itchy feet; this, the longest summer I've ever had since I started kindergarten, is no exception. But now that I've indulged my inner lakwatsera (n. "wanderer"), she simply doesn't want to stop.

So does anyone know where I can take my itchy feet next?

Obviously, I'm trying to make up for lost time and throw myself into exploring the Philippines - a beach lover and traveler's paradise if there ever was one. I'm just beginning to discover just how much there is to see here and to appreciate just how beautiful this land of mine really is.

My friends marvel at how eager I am to plan the next trip... let's face it, even domestic travel costs quite a bit, and I'm not exactly earning anything right now. Neither do I have a good amount saved in the bank - and it's shrinking by the day.

But I've come to realize that there's a good chance that having this much time and freedom to wander and having money to spare to do it might never quite coincide. Once I start working and training again - which is really my long-term plan - I won't be able to indulge my wanderlust this way again for years. Maybe it's a crazy philosophy to live by, but it works for me right now. At this point in my life, when I'm in flux and trying to catch up on everything I missed, it makes perfect sense.

Now I'm scouting for a place to hold our next adventure - and I was hoping one of you could help me. We're targeting just a weekend get-away in May, so it can't be too far or too activity intensive. And of course it can't be too expensive - so travel by plane is out. Personally, I would prefer another quiet beach where I can lie around and just watch the world go by... hey, don't be judgy, it's summer after all!

So, if any of you know of a beautiful, as yet undiscovered destination not too far from Manila, easily accessible by public transport, and won't cost an arm and a leg to get there - please give me a heads up. You can leave me a comment or use my contact form to reach me by email. I've been looking at potential places in Bataan and Quezon, but I'd love to get more input from people who have been there or any other place worth visiting.

I can't wait for our next trip. So, does anybody else want to come along? :)

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Anawangin - Paradise Close to Home

the almost white sand of anawangin cove

It's hard to imagine a place so idyllic and untouched so close to the city, but Anawangin Cove is all that and more.

Once a well-kept secret by the hardcore outdoor enthusiasts and dedicated shutterbugs, it seems to have exploded into the Manila crowd's consciousness, all through word-of-mouth advertising and blog buzz. All of a sudden, this little patch of paradise just 3 hours outside Manila - most of it great driving or an easy commute on very good roads plus a 30 minute boat trip - has become one of this summer's must-see destinations.

Jean and I weren't immune to the lure of the gorgeous photographs and the enthusiastic narratives published on-line by previous visitors. So despite having nil camping experience and unfazed by the prospect of being just two women traveling alone, we set off last weekend to see what the fuss was all about.

Fortunately, my sister and her boyfriend were gracious enough to let themselves be dragged in the wake of our enthusiasm. Being an outdoor savvy couple with several visits to Anawangin under their belt, their presence definitely made the trip much smoother than it might have been.

While Pundaquit, in San Antonio, Zambales is just one bus ride away, my sister decided to bring a car instead. The commute coming from Manila would be easy enough by bus, but getting a ride back home the next day would be a different story. My younger brother and his friends, who had been to Anawangin just the week before, ended up on their feet for the entire bus ride on the way home.

We left Manila at around 430 am and were soon flying down the North Luzon Expressway. After stopping for breakfast at one of the gas stations on the freeway, it was smooth driving all the way to San Antonio, where we made another pit-stop to buy drinking water and provisions at the public market. And let's not forget the other beach essential beer - and an ice chest full of ice.

a view of pundaquit beach and the mountains as we pull out

We parked the car at one of the pay parking lots near Pundaquit Beach (overnight charge PHP 100), and found a boat to take us to our destination. My sister, being a frequent visitor, was able to make arrangements with a boatman she knew ahead of time, and we had a boat waiting for us on the beach. Without much ado, we were off.

The boat was smaller than the one we used for our island-hopping in Caramoan, and the seas were more choppy as well, even if this is the height of summer. It made for a very wet ride, but exhilarating nonetheless. However, the waters going to Pundaquit can become quite rough during storm seasons, so plan your trips during those months with caution.

sheer rockface makes up the coastline to anawangin cove

As we approached the cove, we were greeted by the sight of white sand under the mid-morning sun and the unusual sight of pine trees instead of the palms we are used to seeing on a beach. At first sight, it was obvious what the buzz was all about. After unloading the boat and making arrangements for the boatman to pick us up the next day, we went into the campgrounds to set up camp.

It was a bit of a disappointment to see the campground dotted with tents already, but we were expecting the crowd. Even while we were still in San Antonio, we had already seen several groups of backpackers waiting for tricycles to Pundaquit. Besides that, it seemed as if many friends of friends were descending on the beach this weekend. Jean calls it "The Six Degrees of Anawangin." Inevitably, we would all end up running into someone we knew, someone who we didn't know was coming that weekend. Anawangin is becoming that popular.

All this despite the fact that there are but two makeshift toilets on the campgrounds and two deep well pumps to service a campground teeming with weekend tourists and mountaineers.

Luckily we were still able to find a good spot among the trees, shaded from the noontime sun. After setting up camp and cooking and eating lunch (I will never laugh at Survivor contestants making botched sinaing [steamed rice] ever again), we settled in to take advantage of what any beach had to offer - an afternoon of utter indolence. A bit of exploring and picture taking here and there, then it was time for a long afternoon map in a hammock under the shade of the beautiful pine trees that are part of this cove's mystique.

the stream behind our campsite

There isn't a lot to do in Anawangin in terms of sports activity. There is some snorkeling that can be done by the rocks, but the rips on the sides of the cove can make this dangerous. Swimmers should also approach the beach with respect and caution. While the bottom is sandy and the water amazingly clean, sudden drop offs and undertows influenced by the tide have taken the lives of even strong swimmers caught unawares. With no life guards and minimal warning signs, you must be responsible for your own safety.

What Anawangin is perfect for, aside from watching the world go by, is drinking in the beauty of Nature at its finest. Aside from the beautiful beach, the woods just behind the camping grounds are such a novel sight. Framed by mountains in the background, it looks like a something from on European postcard. Hard to imagine that the sun-kissed tropical beach is just a heartbeat away.

A European postcard shot taken in Zambales

Photographers abound here, toting their SLRs and tripods, running to and fro along the beach to find the perfect shot. Who could blame them? My heart bled for my own SLR camera to capture the utter gorgeousness of this place. I've been to a number of beaches in my career as a wanna-be beach bum, and I must say my vote for prettiest dusk (even if the sun sets behind the mountain) definitely goes to Anawangin.

It was too warm for a bonfire, and the stars were blotted out by the clouds from the summer rain shower, but we still had a nice, quiet evening under the stars, still-cold beer in hand. One of our former interns and his friends joined us with a half-finished bottle of tequila, but since they were already way more wasted than we were, we didn't have the heart to challenge them to finish the rest.

a beach bathed in fire

We woke up early the next morning and took a morning walk along the beach. While the serenity of the beach and the water was calming, our walk was marred by the sight of waste from the previous night's revelry scattered on the beach - an empty bag of chips here, plastic cups here and there. It was so sad to see how irresponsible visitors to this idyllic wonderland were being, instead of making an effort to preserve its beauty and cleanliness.

After a quick post-breakfast morning swim and a makeshift shower at the campsite using a five liter mineral water container filled with deep well water, it was time to pack up and wait for our boatman. We were supposed to stop by Capones Island on the way back, but due to the bulk of people also going home that day, our ride was late, and we left Anawangin past 1:30 in the afternoon still teeming with people enjoying the sun.

Based on the number of people going there this summer, Anawangin is obviously no longer a secret. I just hope that the influx of people will not turn the pristine, untouched state of this cove into a lost memory because of carelessness.

If you want to go there to get away from the maddening crowd, it's best to come on a weekday when you'll have this wonderful place all to yourselves - or off-season, if you're brave enough to face the rough waters. Still, it's definitely worth at least one visit to see this paradise so close to home, regardless of when you'll make the trip.

I hope to be back, too, someday... maybe with an SLR camera at last.

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Mix Tape Tag

photo by Angel Baby 9000

Jet thought up this really great music meme that I, a musical junkie, simply could not pass up.

Music has always been one of my enduring addictions, right up there with chocolate, books, stargazing, and nailbiting. I blame it on having grown up singing by my aunt's piano - and practically everywhere else. In any gathering, you will always find me by any person playing a musical instrument - or by the videoke machine. I know an absurd number of songs by heart - a fickle trick of the memory that completely deserts me when I am trying to memorize medical facts.

I've been collecting music since the good old days of cassette, pre-BASF days, when it used to cost P45 a tape. I used to give my friends mix tapes on a regular basis, back in the days of the double cassette deck and I would have to copy tracks from one cassette tape to another. Some two decades later, the advent of MP3 files and CD writers has made my life so much easier. I always like sharing bits and pieces of my eclectic music collection to uninitiated friends - which is precisely why I simply cannot resist this tag.

Here's what we do.

1. Choose 19 of the songs you like best, regardless of artist or genre.
2. Put them all together in a CD.
3. Make 5 other copies.
4. Post your playlist on your blog.
5. Choose 5 people and share your playlist with them. Also, send your playlist to the one who tagged you.

Okay, this is going to be a tough one. I am simply incapable of choosing 19 songs I like best of all-time... there are just so very many of them in my collection - all of which I really do listen to. Besides that, their position on my I-love-this-song chart varies depending on my mood or what I feel like listening to for the moment. So I'm going to have to do this quickly - otherwise, I'll end up changing my choices here and there and will probably end up never posting this!

Presenting... dr_clairebear's 19 picks for mix tape sharing - what I feel like listening to - at least for tonight. (Aren't you glad I'm not in a campy 80's or 70's disco mood?) :)


Side A - Pretty Songs for Reflective Moods

Violet Sky - Keri Noble
Lullabye for a Stormy Night - Vienna Teng
Sweet Chariot - Charlotte Martin
Send Me a Song - Celtic Woman
Gravity - Sara Bareilles
Back Where We Started - Tina Dico
Fire Sign - David Berkley
Ghost - Indigo Girls
Time - Sarah McLachlan

Side B - Happy Songs To Drive To

Those Sweet Words - Norah Jones
100 Years - Five for Fighting
Fools Like Me - Lisa Loeb
Midnight Bottle - Colbie Callait
Everything - Michael Buble
Little Superhero Girl - Corrinne May
Do I Need a Reason - D' Sound
Breathe - Michelle Branch
Bliss - Alice Peacock with John Mayer
Glorious - Natalie Imbruglia


I tag Ris and Woobie (whose musical grab bags I'm curious about), Linc (who I know by now does not do tags, but I also know has an 80's playlist of maudlin' songs on his About Page - so it's worth a shot), Manggy (who likes Sarah McLachlan, so must have some pretty music in his collection. And he has a closet love for pop, too!), and Lis (who gave a pretty lengthy recommendation list over here which I have yet to mine).

Guys, please email me your email addresses so I can send you my playlist link. I would burn this for you in a heartbeat, but I don't trust our snail mail system. But it's negotiable. ;) You can reach me at dr[dot]clairebear [at] gmail[dot]com.

(Jet, hope you don't mind I reworded the meme a little, just in case Big Brother is watching. :))

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Book Cutting and the 123 Book Tag

Marjie tagged me with this book meme, and I couldn't resist.

The game goes:
1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

It's sort of like that book cutting game my friends and I used to play when I was younger. You get a book, ask a question, open the book to a certain page, and whatever was on that page is supposed to answer your question. It was one of the more popular ways of forcing Fate to give you a definite "sign."

My book-at-hand is something related to my previous post. I recently unearthed it in our bodega (storeroom shed) while I was looking for my board exam reviewers. I bought it a few years back, during my last year in medical school, when I was grappling with the dilemma of what I should do next with my life.

Finding myself at that same point right now, I brought the book back inside the house and have been meaning to read it again. With everything that's been going on here these past few days, I haven't gotten around to it yet. This tag seemed a good way to start.

My book? Stomie Omartian's "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On: Trusting God in the Tough Times." The excerpt on page 123 as specified by the tag follows - but I'm breaking one of the tag rules and going over three sentences.


"What originally seemed like the end became a new beginning. But new beginnings don't happen without something ending.

"Major life changes can be scary. But if we don't cling desperately to the old life, the new experiences can be exciting as well. Trying to keep things from changing only makes the process miserable. It's far less upsetting to just let the old go and walk step by step with God into the new life He has for us."



I kid you not. This was really the excerpt based on the tag rules. Considering my most recent mind-boggling questions about my life, I can't help but think that there must be something to the whole book cutting thing. A coincidence? Maybe. After all, that is really what the book is all about. Or maybe it's God's way of giving me a few answers in a roundabout way. Who knows? Regardless of what is more true, I got the message.

But I digress. :)

Since this is a book tag, I'm tagging two voracious readers I know will have books within reach - Ris and Megamom. Anyone else who wants to do some book cutting of their own is very welcome to participate. Enjoy!

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Personality Test Junkie Strikes Again

I've stumbled upon yet another personality test that I couldn't resist - and it comes with a nifty little badge, too.

Chalk it up to fascination with how people's minds and feelings - including my own - work. It was this same fascination that led me to choose Psychology as my pre-med major in college - and I loved every minute of it.

Even as a kid, I used to enjoy answering these introspective self-evaluations. It didn't matter if they were official ones given by our guidance office or those silly scored pop-psych quizzes found in magazines.

The badge above shows my personality type according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which is based on the personality theories of Carl Jung. It operates on the principle that we are born with or develop certain ways of thinking and acting. It aims to sort behavior into the combination of four "opposite" pairs: extraversion - introversion, sensation - intuition, thinking - feeling, judging - perceiving. This results in 16 possible psychological types made up of varying combinations of four of the eight components above.

While taking the "personality test" on the myPersonality.info site is hardly the same as taking the real MBTI test, which is longer, more comprehensive, and validated, it does give you a pretty good idea of what type you might fall under.

I am allegedly an INFP - Intraverted - iNtuitive - Feeling - Perceiving - also known as the "Dreamer."

"INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easy-going, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal."

How on the money is that description of an INFP in relation to me as a person? Well, I'll leave that for my friends to decide more objectively after they read more about it here. (For those who want to comment how accurate this is in describing me, please feel free to leave your comments.) But in a lot of ways it does strike pretty close to home.

I've always known that one should take the results of these tests with a grain of salt, but when answered honestly and candidly, they also almost always contain a grain of truth.

Much as I like answering all these personality quizzes, I also love sharing them with friends and convincing them to answer them, too. So it's your turn! If you're up to it, take this MBTI quiz at Personality.info and create your own badge to embed in the comment form when you share your results. It's easy to answer - and actually a lot of fun.

I'm looking forward to seeing all of your badges! :)

(Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored post. I really just like spreading this kind of love around. I am even making it an informal tag - so Raymond, Ris, and Marlowe, head on to that website, answer, and blog about it! :))
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Meme: I Tag...

yummy cheesecake photo by ^-^liz

My Yahoo mail inbox has been telling me that I have 73 unread messages for quite some time now. Having nothing better to do, I decided this morning to sift through my mailbox and start throwing my electronic dead mail away. In the deluge of forward mail, I found some of my favorite kind: the about-you-survey.

I know, I know - it's silly, self-indulgent, and a hiccup of my on-line exhibitionism. But you know what they say about idle minds and devil's playgrounds and all that... I can never resist these things. Besides, this brings back memories of elementary school, when they would make us answer these personality tests at the beginning of the year (for what purpose, I still have no idea).

I'm making this a tag for anyone who wants to participate. But I am tagging, in particular, my blogging friends: Penguin and Pepper, and my regular reads Lis, Linc (though I'm not sure you do tags - hope you make an exception), Marjie, and Ris.

I AM... currently sitting in my clinic waiting for 3:30 so I can get out of here and hit the beach.

I WANT... to be rich enough to travel the world without having to worry about my retirement fund.

I HAVE... no definite long-term plans in life.

I WISH... I could eat anything and everything i want without having to exercise to maintain a passable shape.

I HATE... white nights when I stay up wondering if I really like where I am in my life and if I may
have missed my crucial turn in the road.

I FEAR... becoming the old lady ambu-bagging myself in the charity ward (because no one else will)

I SEARCH... for the perfect cheesecake. But seriously -- I am looking outfor that person who will see through me and love me without my having to starve myself into
a great body.

I WONDER... if things in this country can ever get better.

I REGRET... not giving my phone number to this boy I met and liked way back in high school because I think that
completely changed the whole schema of my romantic life and turned it into a barren wasteland.

I LOVE... living by the sea.

I ALWAYS... like to argue for the sake of arguing.

I AM NOT... as tough as I appear to be.

I DANCE... as gracefully as a pregnant elephant.

I SING... impromptu concertos in the shower regularly and at acoustic bars with open mic on demand.

I CRY... over happy endings.

I WRITE... fan fiction and drivel -- a huge amount of it -- for which I will never get paid.

I WON... 3rd place at my mom's office singing contest when I was 11 -- singing and dancing to Laura Brannigan's "Name Game." It was one of the most mortifying moments of my life.

I AM CONFUSED... about what the world is coming to. Are people really determined to hasten the end of the world as we know it?

I NEED... to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life!

I SHOULD... start getting some serious exercise.

THE LAST THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH IS... "Oh, God... tomorrow is another day!"

Your turn!
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Music: Wanted

In order to make up for the vitriol of my last post, I've decided to make up for lost time (while our DSL was on the fritz) by putting up another post before returning to the monstrous black hole called Studying that is now taking up all of my time.

One addiction I haven't been able to indulge in lately is my voracious quest for new music for my MP3 collection. I don't claim to be a fan of any one genre; a trip through my iPod will show you that the only qualification a song needs to find its way is in there is the fact that I like it.

Songs in my collection range from classic to cheezy, easy listening to pop-rock. It's a well-represented mix of songs that spans several decades, with some centuries-old classical in the mix. It's a place where Pachelbel meets Parokya ni Edgar, Madonna is next-door neighbors with the Carpenters, and Frank Sinatra gets equal playing time as Earl Klugh and Smashmouth. Broadway belters like Lea Salonga and Idina Menzel are joined by a liberal dash of Usher, Babyface, and Corinne Bailey Rae.

I label my collection eclectic. A friend of mine, with curled lip and rolling eyeballs, derisively calls it Chick Music.

I think my very confused playlist has been heavily influenced by having parents who are relatively far apart in age and who both unabashedly enjoy music as much as I do. I grew up listening to the smooth, heart-melting voices of crooners from the big band era such as Nat King Cole thanks to my Dad; my Mom weaned me on the Beatles and the music of the late 60's and 70's. More of my musical fodder was provided by my aunt's collection of piano pieces, which I grew up singing to, and my stint as a member in my school choirs.

As I grew up, my own playlist has increased in size and variety as songs which I decide to call mine are promptly taken, stored, and find a permanent home in my personal music data bank. I get them from everywhere - recommendations from friends, off movie soundtracks and TV shows, mentions on various on-line forums I frequent (whose main topic of interest is NOT even music). If I like a song by an artist, I usually try to check out the rest of his or her work. Sometimes I fall in love with a song because of its melody, but most times it's the lyrics that hold my ear captive and gain my undying loyalty. (In my music, just as I am with the rest of my stuff, I am an hopeless pack rat.)

Since I continue to consider music as one of my greatest comforts and pleasures, my collection is still growing.

These days I'm addicted to what I call "pretty music." Music lover does not equal music expert, so I am at a loss for words finding a genre under which I can put these recent favorites of mine! Lately, the soothing, piano-driven melodies of Vienna Teng, Charlotte Martin, Corrine May, and Keri Noble, the heartbreaking voice and poetry of Sarah McLachlan, and the catchy, empowered sound of new-comer Sara Bareilles have taken up the most often played spots on my iPod. I also listen to a small selection of Kate Havenevik, Imogen Heap, and Dido. I've also been sing-along-addicted to songs from the hit Broadway musical Wicked.

You can get an idea of what I've been listening to lately by visiting my Last.fm dashboard. (All music lovers should have this!)

What's on your playlist? Do share. I'm always on the look out for new music to love.



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