Feeding the Cynic

Knowing my already ambivalent attitude towards men in the context of a romantic relationship, my friends were the first to tell me to stay away from this book. A long history of disastrous (non)relationships and unrequited whatevers, watching the romantic disasters befalling my friends, and being around "real guys" much of the time have turned me into too much of a cynic as it is. The last thing I needed was more fuel to the flame - and "He's Just Not That Into You" is just that.

Being the contrary person that I am, I read it anyway.

Often times harsh, occasionally laugh-out-lout funny, but always very honest, Greg Behrendt decodes the motives of guys who disappear, guys who don't call when they say they do, guys who just "want to be friends" but with benefits and other variations on the same theme and give us puzzled women the bottom line in no uncertain terms: "He's just not that into you." Liz Tucillo, who co-authors the book and stands for all the other single women who have ever been in this boat, tackles the reason why it's so hard to swallow Greg's advice - and why we should.

It's a "he-said-she-said" approach that is no-nonsense and gets the message across. And, when all is said and done, the real message that they want to send across is that women should not "waste the pretty."

As I flipped through the pages of the book, I couldn't help a wince here and there as I recognized myself not just as a person on the receiving end of "he's not just that into you" behavior, but as the friend who has spent hours on end with another friend analyzing her relationship problems and throwing out myriad, hope-inflating what-if speculations. True, even before the book, I was always more the hold-your-horses-are-you-sure-you-can-trust-this-guy devil's advocate when my friends would gush to me about guys they are excited about, but being a closet romantic, I was capable of optimism.

I may be a master of not getting my hopes up, but this book sort of sets the standard to an all-new low.

I think women have always really known the bottom line, we just haven't been happy to accept it. So there is a certain degree of freedom gained by being slapped all of this in the face and seeing everything in black and white. Then again, there's always something to be said about living in denial - it's a lot less painful there.

Okay, okay, I know relationships are a lot more complicated than that, it's impossible to generalize, blah, blah, blah. Maybe your guy has a good excuse for not calling. Or maybe he really just isn't ready to put a label on your whatever-it-is. But I think that this book's premise is worth looking at specially if you've been putting your life on hold for a good long while - it just may give you a new perspective.

I, for one, am planning on getting some post-it, writing "Don't waste the pretty" on it, and putting it up somewhere I can see it every day. Maybe if I repeat it to myself often enough, I'll get it.

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Out of Narnia

I first fell in love with the land of Narnia as a little girl watching a cartoon version of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. The story of four ordinary children stumbling by accident into a magical land of talking animals and other mythical creatures come to life immediately captured my imagination. But it was when I found the entire series of books a few years later in our school library that I became a lifelong devotee.

There are seven books in this series by Christian author C.S. Lewis, all of which are related to each other yet can stand alone. Despite criticisms against them in recent years for their alleged "racist" and "sexist" undertones, these books stand as classics that are still loved the world over by both children and adults alike even today.

I've read all of the books in the series too many times to count and, even today, I continue to go back to these stories over and over again. One thing I've enjoyed about revisiting these books as a grown up is finding parallels to my Christian faith woven into the narrative. While C.S. Lewis denies that he created Narnia as an allegory of Christianity, he does not deny the existence of similarities, specially between Christ and Aslan, the Great Lion son of the Emperor-Over-the-Sea, guardian and savior of Narnia.

Reading the books as an adult, I have learned to appreciate the stories through the lenses of my experiences and see the instances where the fiction mirrors my life, more specifically my walk in faith.

In one of the books in the series, when Aslan tells some of the children it would be their last visit to Narnia, he explains that was because it was time that they got to know him and love him in their own world. Because he had met them and allowed them to know him in the fantastic world of Narnia, it would be easier for them to meet him and recognize him in their own world.

I have been given the privilege to meet God in very personal way many times in my life. Like the children of the Narnia saga, these encounters have seemingly been a product of coincidence, but with eyes of faith, I've realized that they were really brought about by His design.

But once I am back in the Real World, it becomes so easy to forget.

It's so hard to hear His voice in the noise and distraction of life. It's so hard to see how He is moving in my life when I'm so caught up in my own concerns. I praise Him that despite my stubborn insistence on straying, He constantly brings me back to Narnia, to remind me that He is the God of miracles, the God of love, and the God who keeps His promises.

That is the constant challenge He has for me - that I may persevere in the walk that He has called me to walk even during the times in my life when I can only vaguely remember the brief glimpse I had of Him. And it is my prayer that He will give me the grace to have that seeking heart, that I may be sensitive to feel Him moving in my life, recognize Him in my everyday, and love Him unabashedly - even when I am out of Narnia.



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Aussie via Armchair

Research is the best way to prepare for any endeavor, and my pending trip to sun-drenched Australia is no exception.

Despite the fact that none of my plans is set in stone at this point (I have yet to get my visa), I've invested in some travel guides about the world's biggest island and its people. Sure, the internet is a treasure trove of free information, but books will always be my first love. Unfortunately for me (but fortunately for my meager savings), very few books about Australia seem to be available in the Philippine market today.

"The fact is, of course, we pay shamefully scant attention to our dear cousins Down Under - though not entirely without reason, I suppose. Australia is, after all, mostly empty and a long way away."

So says author Bill Bryson, in his engrossing travelogue "Down Under," which I managed to read from cover to cover in a little over two days.

I bought got this book on the recommendation of another fellow doc who is also planning to give life in Oz a go. After weeks on the hunt - and several Fully Booked branches later - I finally found a copy at Gateway Mall last Friday.

It was a good thing I didn't hit any of Bryson's laugh-out-loud adventures while I was still on the train home. And, believe me, there were a good number of hilarious moments - mostly involving the author and his horrified encounters with the exotic Aussie wildlife.

In "Down Under," Bryson writes about his visits to some unusual and fascinating places around Australia. This is no Lonely Planet travel guide. It has no accompanying photographs of the tourist hot spots, no detailed how-to-get-there travel tips. Nonetheless, Bryson's prose is in itself fun, engaging, and informative. His narrative smoothly shuttles back and forth between history and present-day, from stories of early explorations to his own attempts at navigating the vastness that is Australia.

Bryson is wry, straightforward, and funny as he recounts his experiences and observations moving from one end of the continent to another. He writes with an outsider's candid irreverence about the people he meets along the way and appropriate terror at the myriad natural hazards that Australians seem to deal with matter-of-factly on a daily basis. But underneath it all is the appreciation and awe he has for this continent he has all but fallen in love with.

This man is no tourist - he is an honest-to-God traveler. And while all his rambling about the dangerous creatures that abound in Aussie has me a bit unnerved, to say the least (for example - did you know that ALL of the 10 most poisonous snake species in the world are indigenous to Australia?), his enthusiasm for the place has stirred in me the beginnings of excitement. There is just so much to see and do.

If you are planning on traveling to Australia any time in the near future - or you're a frustrated wanderlust with just enough of a budget to travel that far by book this summer - grab your copy of "Down Under" ASAP.

But wait... I think I already got the last copy.

(On a completely off-tangent note, just a thought... I wonder what he would have to say about the Philippines.)

****

Other travel books by Bill Bryson (for fellow armchair explorers):
A Walk in the Woods - US
Bill Bryson's African Diary - Kenya
Neither Here nor There - Europe
Notes from a Small Island - UK



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Book Cutting and the 123 Book Tag

Marjie tagged me with this book meme, and I couldn't resist.

The game goes:
1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

It's sort of like that book cutting game my friends and I used to play when I was younger. You get a book, ask a question, open the book to a certain page, and whatever was on that page is supposed to answer your question. It was one of the more popular ways of forcing Fate to give you a definite "sign."

My book-at-hand is something related to my previous post. I recently unearthed it in our bodega (storeroom shed) while I was looking for my board exam reviewers. I bought it a few years back, during my last year in medical school, when I was grappling with the dilemma of what I should do next with my life.

Finding myself at that same point right now, I brought the book back inside the house and have been meaning to read it again. With everything that's been going on here these past few days, I haven't gotten around to it yet. This tag seemed a good way to start.

My book? Stomie Omartian's "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On: Trusting God in the Tough Times." The excerpt on page 123 as specified by the tag follows - but I'm breaking one of the tag rules and going over three sentences.


"What originally seemed like the end became a new beginning. But new beginnings don't happen without something ending.

"Major life changes can be scary. But if we don't cling desperately to the old life, the new experiences can be exciting as well. Trying to keep things from changing only makes the process miserable. It's far less upsetting to just let the old go and walk step by step with God into the new life He has for us."



I kid you not. This was really the excerpt based on the tag rules. Considering my most recent mind-boggling questions about my life, I can't help but think that there must be something to the whole book cutting thing. A coincidence? Maybe. After all, that is really what the book is all about. Or maybe it's God's way of giving me a few answers in a roundabout way. Who knows? Regardless of what is more true, I got the message.

But I digress. :)

Since this is a book tag, I'm tagging two voracious readers I know will have books within reach - Ris and Megamom. Anyone else who wants to do some book cutting of their own is very welcome to participate. Enjoy!

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Murder They Wrote

I have discovered the gruesome world of crime fiction.

I admit I stumbled into the genre rather late, considering that I started my reading career devouring Nancy Drew novels at the rate of two a day. I was a huge fan of "New Detectives" and "Crime Night" on Discovery Channel long before knowing about forensic pathology became fashionable thanks to CSI. Once upon a time, I even toyed with the idea of going into forensic pathology myself until the sight and smell of my first live autopsy forced me to can the idea.

But lately, I've been feeding my pulp fiction appetite with who-done-its by Patricial Cornwell and Kathy Reichs, novels featuring strong career women pathologists bent on getting into the heart of a mystery armed with no more than their brains and their guts.

Fascinated as I am with their heroines' investigative prowess, I can't help but be as equally astonished by the macabre imaginations that gave these stories birth. How must these authors feel as they describe these murders in detail, typing away at their keyboards in the middle of the night? It's creepy enough dwelling inside a killer's as a captive reader - how many times creepier it must be to have to think as one in order to give texture to your story. It's amazing that anyone even allows themselves to thinking these thoughts at all.

Or is thinking of murder really all that uncommon? I can't help but wonder if at some point in every person's life, one has already thought of killing someone, even in passing. Is it within each one of us to be capable of killing? Given the right circumstances, the answer would probably be yes. But is it within each one of us to be mad enough to plan cold-blooded murder? It is the answer to that question that is still up in the air. Maybe the reason why crime fiction is a genre that continues to sell is because these paper villains keep ordinary people from crossing the line to madness by acting out our madness for us.
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