After months of waiting in uncertainty, I finally got a definite job offer from this hospital in Perth, Western Australia.
Yes, it's true. I have decided to join the Great Filipino Diaspora - at least for the next year or so - in my bid to figure out what I really want to do with the rest of my life and move out of my safety zone. Starting a new job in a city where everyone is a stranger, away from everything I know and everyone I love, is probably as far out of a safety zone anyone can ever get.
There is still much to be done before this next phase in my "life-with-no-plan" is a sure thing - visas to be processed, papers to be fixed - and at any point plans could still change or go awry. Not the least of these things-to-do is my faxing a signed copy of the contract to my employers before my 10-day deadline is up. However, I've been sitting on the matter because faxing that contract back to them with my signature on it makes everything more real.
Now that this completely new journey is immenent, I'm not sure I have the gumption to take it. Despite my resolve to embrace the unexpected, I have a serious case of cold feet.
I've complained often enough about straight roads and pipe dreams, but I have never been a risk-taker. I liked living safe, even if a part of me knew I was working myself into a rut. I was walking a well-planned route, living life using a detailed map. It didn't leave a lot of room for improvisation, but at least I knew exactly where I was going.
I've been restless and my life is begging for something to jumpstart it. This opportunity could be what I've been waiting for, but... what can I say? I've always been big on indecision and timidity.
This is uncharted territory. I'm standing at the edge of a precipice so high, and I can't see where I will land. Understandably, much as I want to defy gravity, I am frozen in place and reluctant to jump.
I need to borrow some courage - or, barring that, I need someone to give me a big hard shove off this cliff I'm on.