Monday, April 06, 2009

Living in my Now

with my race buddy, Adam

I did it! Number 824 finished her 10 kilometer run in one hour, nine minutes and change, and hardly winded at the finish line. Who'd have thought I'd be doing something like this just one year later? Certainly not me.

I know, I know, 10 kilometers is hardly a marathon - and, to hard-core running enthusiasts, not really much to crow about. But if someone had asked me this same time last year to put on a pair of track shoes and gear up for a 5 kilometer WALK, I'd have told them that they were out of their mind.

I've always been a big fan of metaphors for describing my life. And, to date, there's no better metaphor for my now than having finished a 10 kilometer course, running all the way. Something I'd never even dreamed of doing - and have now done.

My list is hardly be the stuff adventure movies are made of, given what a sheltered, limited life I've confined myself to so far. It's been a huge effort to lock away my inner mouse - that afraid, high-strung part of myself that's always telling me I should be serious and get back into the rat race because I'm running out of time - and to embrace my impulsive, fun-loving, i-can-do-anything inner goddess just looking out for the next new adventure.

The transition from being a mouse to goddess (ha!) takes a bit of easing into when one has been living the life of a mouse (and by choice) for far too long. My mouse and my goddess often have roaring fights, let me tell you, and I still find myself stuck and dithering smack in the middle. But I'm making the effort to choose the braver option more and more.

Like driving at speeds greater that 100 kilometers per hour. Flying off to the other side of the continent on impulse. Wearing a bikini top (but with board shorts, hey! I wouldn't want anyone to lose their lunch) at the beach. Exploring my new city completely solo - and loving the whole experience. Being utterly comfortable being on my own. Opening myself up to the option of uprooting myself once again and starting over in another city.

I've heard it said somewhere that the most important journeys lead us further into ourselves - and they usually happen exactly where we are at the moment. I had to travel 5,179 kilometers from home to take that journey - and while I haven't found all of myself yet, I'm slowly but surely getting there. And adding more to my list of never-would-have-dones along the way.

Yes, I can say that my middle of nowhere, as I live in my now, is a truly great place to be.

* * * *

A contribution to Ligaya's The TBR MD's: Their Lives and Letters.

As a post-script, to make this post fit in to what she's looking for - and for the curious to find out exactly where I was just a year before, I've linked some key blog entries chronologically leading up to this one - just so you guys have an idea what a long journey I've been on since a year ago, if you have the time to read. :)


rlbates said...


Em Dy said...

Imagine if you'd let last year's reservations stop you, then your now may be completely different. YTou've accomplished a lot, Claire. I'm happy for you!

Walking on Water said...

wow claire! you look hot!=)

the philippine daily idiot said...

ex-mouse and goddess, hehehe. a year ago, you almost lost it, right? the papers and all.

i thought the previous post was ur entry.

aggie said...

way to go claire! hope i'll have that same courage you have to take my own leap of faith... someday. for now ay "mouse" muna ako. you look fab! :)

joe positive said...

great job!

Ligaya said...

i'm jealous! i can't even run three laps around the track! this is a great post doc's inspiring AND easy to read...

Round-up here --

Thank you for contributing! :-)

Pinay MegaMom said...

Hey Claire! From a former (tor)mentor (which one was it? hehe) I am so proud of you! Not just for the running thing, but also para sa gwapong katabi mo (bahala ka na kung isasalin mo sa Ingles, LOL), and for all you've proven to be there in W.A.
I just had an epiphany: your blog post title made me think about your blog name. You could play around with it and put the break between the W and H: Now-Here instead of No-Where. After all, I would imagine that you yourself think you are NOW SOMEWHERE and not NO-WHERE. :-) Keep on chronicling, from wherever you are! Happy Easter!

Manggy said...

Congratulations Dr. Clairebear! Those are quite the accomplishments! I'm not even sure I can manage those :) And you look SO much slimmer, wow!

Yihee, Adam. Yes, I'm 12.

MerryCherry, MD said...

Galing! I'm inggit, no, bot because of the running, but because of your running mate. Hahaha!

Keep fit and fab!

dr_clairebear said...

thanks, thanks, thanks to everyone who left a message! :) yes, i feel awesome.

si running buddy ay running budy lang, at wala nang iba. :P for the record.

myorthodoc said...


From solo cooking to running to whats next???

Keep up the drive Claire!